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The unfair one-way love of a father



One day a young man told his father: “I want my share of the inheritance right now”, essentially saying: “As far as I’m concerned, you’re dead to me, and since you won’t oblige and kick off, just give me my inheritance now.” Unloving, entitled, disrespectful, rude.


The father knows how reckless and self-destructive his son is and he knows that he is going to squander whatever he gives him. So what does he do? He turns everything we know about raising responsible children on its head and gives the boy what he asks. We think, What an unwise father. If this father had been steeped in the proverbial wisdom of the Bible, he would never have made such a foolish mistake.


And sure enough, the son goes out and blows his inheritance on women and wine. When he finally wakes up and finds himself in a pigsty, he takes the only option left to him – to get up and sheepishly return to his father. On his way back home he rehearses his speech:

“Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your servants.” (Luke 15:18-19)

Of course, his father has been waiting for this moment, and when, from a distance, he sees the bedraggled boy coming, he feels such great compassion and love that he runs out and embraces his son. Then, in a radically undignified manner, he falls in the dirt and hugs his child’s legs. He restores his lost son’s status before the son even has the chance to say or do anything.


The son brings nothing to the table; it is a one-way transaction. Never once does the father say: “I will welcome you back only if you detail for me all the mistakes you’ve made – so I can determine whether you’re truly sorry and ready to be part of the family again.” Think of that! The father doesn’t demand anything from the son, who has put him through so much pain. He doesn’t insist on emotional, financial, or legal consequences. He doesn’t drag the boy to court, or make him stand up in front of the local religious leaders and do penance. Instead . . . he rewards him. He gives him the very opposite of what he deserves. The father knows that his son is already acutely aware of his guilt and shame. The boy knows what he has done. What he needs, is to be forgiven. Which is the beginning of a new life.

 

God loves you unconditionally, as you are and not as you should be, because nobody is as they should be. It is the message of grace… A grace that pays the grinning drunk who shows up at ten to five the same wages as the eager beaver who works all day long. This vulgar grace is indiscriminate compassion. Grace is enough . . . Jesus is enough. (Brennan Manning: All is Grace: A Ragamuffin Memoir).

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